Alright, so I read the first verse of Chapter 12, and I will admit I started balling my eyes out. Hearing God speak to me and say..."Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you." truly broke me. On top of that, I was listening to Tear Down These Walls by Hillsong, great song btw. The mixture of the two really has me questioning why I am here at Trine this semester. Why am I wasting $10,000 more by being here the next two semesters when I am not even going to use my major? Why am I spending time learning something I hate, when I know what I should be doing? Why don't I do what the God of this universe has called me to do--be a missionary? Why do I have to follow the earthly thought of you NEED a degree to get anywhere?? I know the whole, God has a purpose in you being here right now, to minister to the girls on your floor, the internationals, and others inside and outside of CCH. I know that God is using me in my time here. I know I can be a light to this campus. BUT, which one outweighs the other? GAH! Sorry, I am kind of going on a tangent right now, but I feel like God is really laying this on my heart right now. Please pray for me. Pray for my decision of whether to be at school and finish my degree or go to the missions field now.
So, Verses 3-4 also just hit me really hard. God will make me into a nation, bless me, make my name great, allow me to be a blessing, bless those who bless me, curse those who curse me, and EVERYONE on earth will be blessed through ME?!?!?! WHAT?? How do I, Brandi Wilcox, deserve ANY of these blessings? I don't deserve a single thing God gives me everyday. & to think God will bless those who bless me and curse those who curse me. My God has my back, no matter what. That's crazy to think about what God is doing for us when we don't even recognize it or see it. Verse 4--Abram left, not questioning His God, not worrying or pondering the decision. Abram got up..and left his people. I want to be Abram. I want to get up right now and let God guide me where He wants me. Do I have that kind of courage, boldness, faith, or trust in God. Honestly, I want to, but I know that I don't. There are too many things holding me back, too many things that are keeping me from doing what I know God has willed me to do.
In verse 7 the Lord appeared to Abram and the others that were with him and told Abram that God was going to give him the land that he was standing on. What was Abram's response? He built an alter there. I'm so excited to see Abram's faith in this moment that He just trusts in the Lord and submits to His will. Abram continued on the path the Lord had laid before him and stopped in Bethel and built another alter!
Verses 10-20 Abram goes to Egypt. He knew how the Egyptians would look at his beautiful wife, so he decided to call her his sister for his sake. This man named Pharaoh took Abram's wife away and treated him well for her sake. God had Abram's back and afflicted Pharaoh with serious diseases. Pharaoh approached Abram and asked him why Abram had lied to him about his wife and allowed Pharaoh to take her as his wife. Pharaoh ordered the two of them to leave and take their possessions with them.
In Christ,
Brandi :)
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